


Much a-Q About Nothing

by ellen_fremedon



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Comedy, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-04-23
Updated: 2001-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-02 13:01:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellen_fremedon/pseuds/ellen_fremedon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the challenge "Q needs advice, 'cause he's smitten with a certain Starfleet captain. He goes off to "Kathy" (Janeway) and asks for advice on how to woo Picard." But things quickly become more complicated..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Much a-Q About Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the members of the PiQuante list for comment, critique, and encouragement. Thanks as well to all my fellow grads who took part in the great deassimilated vs. disassimilated debate. And who, though horrified at the suggestion that "unassimilated" might be synonymous with either, cared not a whit that I needed the word for a Treksmut story. I love this department!
> 
> Cosmic fireworks stolen from Robin Lawrie; Varoneeka's "The Louder the Song" influenced my view of Picard's interaction with the Voyager crew. Extra fun feature for syntax buffs-- spot the garden path sentence in the first scene!

"Let me get this straight, Q. You're asking _me_ for romantic advice?"

so quick on the uptake."

Janeway fell back against her pillow, rubbing her eyes with her fists. "Q, why me?"

"Who else would I ask? You're a starship captain too-- that gives you an insight into how his mind works that I will never have." Q ticked off the points on his fingers. "You wouldn't just go ask Starfleet what you should say to me even if you could. And you're a friend of both of us; I would think you'd want to see us live happily ever after."

Janeway snorted. "Besides," Q continued, "you've slept with him."

She sat up, glaring. "Once."

"Well, that's once more than I have. Surely you must have _some_ pearls of wisdom?"

"Nothing you couldn't hear from any number of people who weren't trying to sleep, Q. I've had a long day."

"Ah, yes, your Iconian door. Your engineer is still hard at work planetside. She thinks she's found a way to make it open into the Alpha Quadrant." Q leaned conspiratorially close. "Would you like to know if it will work?"

Janeway was certain Q could hear her mental cry of Yes! Tell me! But she bit her tongue and said nothing. The entity shrugged. "Well, don't say I didn't offer an equal exchange of information."

"I don't see how any exchange of information between a mortal and an omniscient being could possibly be equal, Q. And in any case," she persisted, "if you do need a mortal's help, don't you think you could get better advice from... I don't know, Cyrano de Bergerac? Or Francesca da Rimini, or Queen Guinivere?"

"Oh, that's a litany of happy endings." He rolled his eyes. "I want to be successful, Kathy, not renowned in song and story. Among human lovers, those two seem to be mutually exclusive."

"Then go ask someone successful, Q." She lay down on her side, pointedly looking away from the entity. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to sleep."

There was a flash of light, and Q vanished. Janeway sighed, then sat bolt upright, looking at her arms and torso. Her nightgown had been replaced by a gold-embroidered silk dress, its several layers all unpleasantly stiff and scratchy. A voice in her ear harrumphed, "Francesca da Rimini indeed."

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

The entity reclined on _Voyager_'s primary hull, drumming his fingers and reading the captain's thoughts-- something he realized he should have done in considerably greater detail before he'd come to ask for her advice, but asking for help was so much against his nature that he'd been more than a little distracted by the sheer indignity of it.

And she certainly wasn't going to be eager to help him now, he mused, listening to the thoughts of loneliness and self-reproach that he'd unwittingly stirred up. :::Falling more deeply in love with Seven every time you look at her, slinking off to screw a hologram instead of saying anything to her, and an omniscient entity comes to _you_ of all people for advice? Q must be damned bored if that's his idea of a joke. Gods, I wish I weren't alone in this bed. Q and Jean-Luc. It would take a god to make that man happy. I wish Jean- Luc were here now. I wish _anyone_ were here, that I weren't alone...::: An image of Jean-Luc Picard, sweat shining on his perfect forehead, and a memory of the touch of his huge hands, swam up out of Janeway's thoughts, and Q lay back against the hull and groaned. This would not do.

A thought struck him, and he searched the minds of _Voyager_'s crew until he found the ex-Borg. Seven of Nine was awake, working alone in Astrometrics, and thinking about her captain. :::Starfleet code of conduct section 58, paragraph 12, subparagraphs 34c through 34f and paragraphs 21 through 27 inclusive, are unclear and often contradictory on the subject of sexual relations between shipmates. Contradiction is irrelevant. No Starfleet regulation would expressly prohibit a sexual relationship between the captain and myself; however, it is clear that Starfleet would not consider such a relationship advisable.

:::Captain Janeway has disregarded Starfleet regulations and Federation policies on many past occasions, including a minimum of thirty-nine Prime Directive violations. Therefore, if she desired a sexual relationship with me, she would not allow Starfleet's potential disapproval to prevent her from initiating one.

:::Therefore, either the captain does not desire such a relationship, or she is reluctant to initiate one for some other reason.

:::On eighty-nine occasions in the past thirty days, the captain has evinced signs of sexual arousal when looking at me, to wit: dilated pupils, breathing rate increased by a minimum of twenty percent, increased body temperature, particularly in the hands, face, and genital region, and on at least twelve occasions, increased pheromone production and/or vaginal discharge detectable to my olfactory sense. These responses indicate that the captain does desire me as a sexual partner.

:::Therefore, some other factor is preventing the captain from acting on this desire.

:::If I were more knowledgeable about human mating behaviors, perhaps I could approach the captain and attempt, myself, to initiate such a relationship between us. How would I make such an attempt?:::

Here, the ex-Borg seemed to reach an impasse. Q listened to her thoughts for another moment, as she struggled to continue her line of reasoning, and then, coming to a decision, appeared sitting atop Seven's workstation.

"Couldn't sleep either?"

Seven did not show any sign of surprise. "I do not require sleep, nor am I in need of regeneration at the moment. Are you the entity called Q?"

"Don't tell me the Borg have been planning the assimilation of the Continuum."

"Very well, I shall not. However, your appearance is familiar to me not from the Collective's records, but from Starfleet's. I have read of your previous visits to this starship and to other Federation vessels, worlds, and stations."

"And I'm sure you're just thrilled to finally meet me, but there are more important matters at hand just now than signing autographs."

"I was not going to request that you--"

"I have," Q continued blithely, jumping down and beginning to pace, "a proposition. For a partnership between us."

"A partnership?" Seven followed his pacing with her eyes. "To what end?"

"Oh, nothing too important. Just happiness and fulfillment and bliss for you, me, and two Starship captains. Interested?"

The ex-Borg's eyebrows slowly lifted. "Happiness and fulfillment and bliss. These are... not irrelevant." The entity halted and leaned heavily on the back of her chair. She turned to look him in the eye. "Please elaborate."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

"Mr. Data, look at this." Picard ran a sonic displacer over the lintel of the alcove, dislodging a thick layer of dust. Ras Algethi swam up out of the clouds, illuminating the complex patterns he had revealed. "Do you recognize these ideograms?"

The android turned from his examination of the mural farther down the wall. "Yes, sir. They would appear to comprise a system for selecting spatial coordinates, on this world and many others."

"A door?"

"Indeed, sir." The android joined Picard in the alcove to get a better look.

The captain ran his hand over the alien script. "What a pity the mechanism was destroyed."

Data looked up. "Perhaps it is for the best, sir. A functioning Iconian door this close to the Cardassian border would be impossible to adequately defend. But although it is non-functional, this door can still yield much information about Iconian culture and technology."

Picard laughed. He was happy. A little fresh air, a few quarter-million-year-old ruins... he was a man of simple pleasures, he thought, and chuckled again. Data watched him intently.

"You're right, of course, Mr. Data." He tapped his communicator. "Picard to _Enterprise_. It is an Iconian ruin, Will, and exquisitely well-preserved. Contact Starfleet Command, recommend that this site be given top priority in the Research Exploration Division's mission roster."

"Aye, Captain," Riker replied. "Should I have the transporter room stand by?"

"Just a few more minutes, Maman. You know how rarely I get to see the surface of any planet, let alone something like this."

"Just try to stay out of trouble, Captain. Riker out."

Data was scanning the ideograms into his tricorder, kneeling to get the bottom row. As he stood, there was a sudden noise, and the alcove was sealed off by a shimmering silver barrier. "Picard to _Enterprise_. Picard to _Enterprise_, come in."

Data's tricorder whirred. "The field is blocking all forms of radiant energy. I do not believe the _Enterprise_ will be able to break through it from outside."

"Or shut it off?"

"No, sir. The field is not being generated from this planet or indeed this sector. However..." He stretched his arm through the silver wall. It disappeared.

"Data!" Picard pulled him back.

"It is an Iconian door, captain. The field will permit matter to pass though." He studied the wall again for several seconds. "Captain, if I read these ideograms correctly, the room from which we entered should be on the other side. It should be possible to simply pass through."

There seemed to be no other choice. "Very well, then." They looked at each other for a moment; then Picard nodded, and they stepped forward.

Picard blinked.

"On the other hand," Data said, "I could be wrong."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

"The good news, Captain, is that our plan for selecting the destination parameters seems to be successful."

Janeway glanced around her bridge. Paris had turned around to grin at Kim, Chakotay was trying to stifle a grin and having it come out as a smirk, and even Tuvok's raised eyebrow conveyed volumes of enthusiasm. "That's wonderful, B'Elanna! And the bad news?"

There was a slight hesitation before the engineer's voice came over the commlink again. "So far, transport seems to be one-way only. _From_ the Alpha Quadrant."

There was a lengthy silence, broken only by the hiss of the bridge doors. "Explain."

"I can't. But I've sent up the people who might be able to."

Janeway became aware that her bridge crew were staring at a point behind her. She turned around. "Jean-Luc."

"Kathryn. It's good to see you again." Picard came down to the center seat, took her hand. "Though the circumstances might not be what either of us had hoped for." he said, with a wry smile.

Janeway couldn't help smiling back-- it _was_ good to see him again-- but she just pressed his hand and said, "A moment please, Captain. Lieutenant Torres, how long until sunrise?"

"Twenty-five minutes, Captain. We're packing up the equipment now; we'll be returning in a moment."

"Very good. Transport at your discretion. Janeway out."

"Sunrise?" said the gold-skinned man behind Picard.

Tuvok answered. "Daytime levels of solar radiation on the planet's surface are highly inimical to the functioning of electronic equipment, to say nothing of their deleterious effects on carbon-based life."

"It looks like you're stranded here at least until sunset, Commander...?"

"Data, captain."

"My second officer," Picard said. "How long until nightfall?"

Janeway sighed. "Four days, I'm afraid."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

"Q?" Picard was settled on the couch in the ready room, hands curved around a cup of Earl Grey. "Yes, he has visited the _Enterprise_ lately, though not with any apparent purpose."

"What do you mean?" Janeway took a sip of her coffee

"He comes, he tries to engage me in conversation on any number of topics, he annoys my crew, he leaves. Social calls, one might say. The only explanation he's given is that he enjoys the company." He said it with a tone of exasperation, but to Janeway's ear it sounded somehow ungenuine-- as though Picard's displeasure were less a real reaction than a private joke he didn't want to give up. "Why do you ask?"

"He visited me last night."

"Another social call?"

She almost told him. But the sparkle in the gray-brown eyes arrested her for a moment, long enough to notice the perfectly sculpted hands cradling the teacup, and the man's utter calm and ease, despite having just been thrown halfway across the galaxy, and for a moment all she could think was, no wonder Q's in love with this man.

Followed almost immediately by, who gives a damn how Q feels.

"You could say that." She put on her most winning smile. "Would you care to have dinner with me tonight, Jean-Luc?"

Jean-Luc smiled back. "I would like that very much. Kathryn."

The entity looking on scowled.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Data declined to join them on the tour; he and Lt. Torres were reviewing his tricorder's recording of the passage through the door, trying to work out how to reverse the field. So Picard was alone with Kathryn, whose flirting had grown more and more overt over the past hour. Not that he minded. He was looking forward to dinner with great anticipation.

_Why did she ask me about Q, I wonder._ Picard's thoughts had begun to drift from the increasing surrealism of the tour-- holographic doctors and that bizarre morale officer in his kitchen and cobbled-together technology scrounged from the Borg and god knew who else-- to the entity's last visit.

Picard had been somewhat subdued when the entity had last appeared in his ready room-- not depressed, no, not anything to worry Beverly or Deanna with, just... subdued. The previous day would have been Robert's birthday, and he had not remembered it, had not grieved, had not even thought about it. Not once. Ever since he'd remembered, he'd been sitting at his desk worrying that lack of feeling like a loose tooth, trying to call up some grief or pain or sorrow, and only making himself more and more ashamed that he felt nothing.

And when Q had arrived, in his trademark flash of light, he'd actually been pleased to see him. He'd just sat there, looking at him, until Q had said, "Well? Aren't you going to tell me to get off your ship?"

"Why bother? It's never worked before."

The entity had looked astonished. "And you're going to give up? Just like that?"

Picard had smiled. "No. I'm going to make the best of the situation. May I offer you some tea, Q?"

They'd talked for several hours, and when Q had left him Picard had felt like a weight had been lifted from him. Q, though he hated to admit it, had been the person-- entity-- being he'd needed to talk to, the one person-- being-- all right, person, call him a person, dammit-- the one person he could count on to offer no platitudes, no empty words, no too-easy comfort. He'd thanked Q, when he left, for the visit, and for the first time in fourteen years he'd seen Q at a complete loss for words.

That had been a week ago, and he'd seen nothing of Q since, though for much of that week they'd been quite busy, feints and counterfeints along the DMZ. He'd been relieved when they'd been ordered to Ras Algethi to investigate the Iconian ruin. And now Q was here... why? He'd been certain Kathryn had been about to say something else, before.

Or perhaps she'd just been making up her mind about the dinner invitation. Or about her plans for afterward.

Lost in these thoughts, Picard scarcely heard what Kathryn was saying about her Astrometrics department. Something about an Annika Hanson. The door to Astrometrics opened.

A blond woman stared at him. "Locutus."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

She had realized her error as soon as she'd spoken. The man was no longer Locutus of Borg. He was Captain Jean-Luc Picard. He had been taken from the Collective, as she had.

His face had become very pale after she spoke, and he had held his breath for 6.2346 seconds. Signs of emotional upheaval. It had distressed him, to be reminded that he was once Locutus. Seven wondered whether it was the memory of his assimilation that distressed him, or the fact of his severance from the Collective. Thoughts of both had, at times, disturbed her own emotions.

These thoughts were irrelevant. Picard had recovered his composure and was asking her about her work in Astrometrics. She answered his questions, and he and the captain left her to her work and spoke with Jenny Delaney.

But Seven watched the two captains from across the room. Captain Janeway was standing very close to Captain Picard. She leaned even closer when she spoke to him. She maintained eye contact with him for extended periods of time. Her pulse rate was high, as though she'd been running. :::Or as though she had been looking at me.:::

Captain Janeway desired this other captain. And Captain Picard was duplicating her behavior-- the increasing proximity, the lengthening eye contact, the quickening pulse.

The conclusion was inescapable. Captain Janeway intended to initiate sexual contact with Captain Picard.

Jealousy was irrelevant.

Jealousy was irrelevant.

Jealousy was extremely unpleasant.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

She told all this to Q when he appeared in Astrometrics after the end of the shift.

"I couldn't agree more," the entity said. "How do you think I've been feeling all day, watching them together?" He folded his arms and frowned at a spot on the floor.

"I think you have also been feeling jealous."

"Brilliant deduction, Holmes. No, don't even ask."

Seven decided, after a moment's thought, that the injunction not to ask referred only to the new and irrelevant subject of Holmes and not to the issue at hand. "I have thought of a course of action that may prove effective in attaining our goals; however, I am not certain of the best way to implement it."

Q looked up. "Let's hear it. Anything to distract me from their thoughts." He gestured with his chin in the direction of Janeway's cabin.

Seven often missed hearing the thoughts of the Collective, but she did not regret that she could not hear Janeway and Picard's thoughts tonight. "As I told you last night, Captain Janeway has shown that she does desire me. If there is some other factor preventing her from acting on that desire-- some factor which is evidently not present in her relationship with Captain Picard-- then perhaps the influence of jealousy would be sufficient to induce her to overcome or disregard that factor."

Q was nodding. "How had you planned to make her jealous?"

"I had thought that you and I might show signs of attraction to each other."

"No," the entity said. "It wouldn't work. She doesn't trust me enough not to try that trick on my own. She'd suspect that I was using my powers to make you desire me in order to make Picard jealous."

It took Seven several seconds to work through all the levels of beliefs and speculations that thought entailed, and to realize that all the careful reasoning she had put into the effects of jealousy were just one small component of this complex argument. And Janeway would do all of this calculation in an instant... remarkable. Why did most humans find it so much easier to reason about other humans' mental states than about any other subject, when for her it was so much more difficult?

"Then," she said, "what do you suggest?"

The entity draped himself across her workstation and took her chin into his hand. "Hmmm." He studied her face for a moment, then snapped his fingers. Instantly, Seven was attired in a short blue dress, cut very low in the front; long strands of something bright dangled from her earlobes. Music began to play, from no source she could identify. "For the moment," Q said, "a dancing lesson."

"I have attempted the art of dancing. I have found it inadvisable to dance with humans; they are easily injured."

"Yes, they are, aren't they. But you won't be dancing with any humans, Annika, have no fear."

Q snapped his fingers again, and they were standing on a vast expanse of parquetry, a spiral galaxy spreading across the sky, bright as daylight. "Tomorrow, my dear, you are going to dance with Mr. Data." He bowed low and took her hand.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

:::Poor Seven. She looked awfully ill at ease in Astrometrics. I should have warned her she'd be meeting Locutus. I was so busy preparing Jean-Luc to meet her I never thought of saying anything to her. Though Jean-Luc still looked like he'd seen a ghost.:::

Captain Janeway turned over and pressed closer to Captain Picard. It was good to have a warm bed again, even if just for tonight, or a handful of nights. And Jean-Luc was an even better lover than she'd remembered. No, she didn't regret doing this at all.

:::I wish it could be this easy with Seven. But I can't ask her. I made a choice, to be her mentor, and that's what I am. And I'm proud of her, I am. But she tries so hard to live up to whatever goals I suggest. If I told her I was in love with her... poor Seven. If I told her, she'd try to fall in love with me. She'd try as hard as she could. And I might never know whether what she felt was genuine. She might never know. Emotions are so hard for her to figure out. Poor Seven...:::

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

When the dancing lesson ended, Seven felt strangely... elated? Was this the state that word referenced? The doctor's dancing lessons had never left her feeling this way. Her pulse had increased, more so than the nature of the exercise seemed to require; indeed, her body's responses were not unlike sexual arousal, though she did not think she was aroused. Most puzzling. And though she had expended a great deal of energy in performing the proper movements, she did not feel a pressing need to regenerate. Undoubtedly the result of high endorphin levels in her system, preventing her from feeling the depletion the activity should have produced. And the music's effects on her were even more difficult to quantify. Certainly, it had had an effect. Music was not irrelevant.

And, she thought, it had been quite pleasant to move in tandem with Q, and be conscious of the warmth of his body, his hand on her shoulder. Physical contact was not irrelevant.

Then she thought about dancing with the captain. She was somewhat surprised by the strength of her body's response to the image. If she could only control her strength enough not to injure her, it would be most pleasant to be close to her, to move with her...

She leaned back in her regeneration alcove and unsealed the front of her jumpsuit. Masturbation, she had found in recent weeks, was very definitely not irrelevant.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

"Commander Data." The ex-Borg Astrometrics officer stood at the door of the laboratory. Torres and her people had gone to the mess for lunch twelve minutes previously, but Data had remained to continue working.

"Seven of Nine. May I be of assistance?"

"Perhaps. I have come to invite you to go dancing, at twenty- hundred hours tonight."

It was an intriguing invitation. Data was most curious about this woman. Torres and her engineers had spoken at length about her struggles to understand her human crewmates, and they had reminded him strongly of his own. Data considered. The work was progressing rapidly. There was no reason he should not devote his off-duty hours to leisure pursuits. "I accept."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

The holodeck was running a simulation of a nightclub on Rigel IX, Tom's latest effort, and as popular with the crew as Sandrine's and Fair Haven had been. There was a wide terrace for dancing, its parapet hung with paper lanterns, its inner edge rimmed with tables under a broad awning. The air was filled with incense and the insistent bass and keen, skirling vocals of Rigellian Neoclassical.

Janeway and Picard sat at a table by the terrace, on the side opposite the band.

"I can't help wondering," Picard said, "whether my unexpected visit here is any way connected with Q."

Janeway had been wondering the same thing, though she wasn't about to say so. "What makes you think it might be?"

"Intuition, nothing more. But... well, you're aware of my history with Q. His special interest in humanity in general goes back to our first encounter. But in recent years, he's seemed to show a special interest in me in particular."

:::Only you, Jean-Luc,::: Janeway thought, :::could say something like that and not sound unbelievably arrogant.::: She stirred her drink idly. :::Maybe that's why you're being so willfully blind to the nature of Q's interest. If you had to admit that a god had the hots for you, it would undermine that humility you take such pride in, wouldn't it?::: She watched the lamplight reflecting off that magnificent head. :::Probably practice being modest in front of your mirror. Not easy for you, is it Jean-Luc? Of course, you don't have nearly as much to be modest about as some of us mere mortals...:::

This was absurd. Picard was waiting for her to say something. "There was no sign that any force aside from the Iconian door generator was responsible for bringing you here. But that doesn't prove anything." A flash of brilliant blue caught her eye. "Gods."

"Isn't that your Astrometrics officer with Commander Data?" Picard said.

"Yes." Janeway swallowed. "I never knew she could dance like that."

"That's quite a talent to have kept concealed." Picard's gift for understatement had not failed him. Seven and Data were dancing the Rigel Fling as it was meant to be danced, spinning across the terrace almost too fast for the eye to follow. But not so fast that Janeway couldn't see the perfection of Seven's limbs, the grace of her carriage. The way the blue dress clung. Janeway swallowed heavily, rubbed her palms along the outsides of her thighs.

She forced herself to look away from the spectacle on the terrace. "You know, this music's starting to get on my nerves. Why don't we continue this conversation somewhere a bit quieter?"

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Janeway had left the holodeck shortly after Seven and Data had commenced dancing. For a moment, Seven had thought that she had successfully caused the captain to feel jealous: Janeway had watched her movements intently. She had begun to sweat. But then Janeway had left with Picard, touching his arm and shoulder, and apparently intent on resuming their sexual contact.

But strangely, Seven was unbothered by the failure of the plan. It was most pleasant to be here with Commander Data. He was a skilled dancer, and as they repeated the complex patterns of the dance she found herself feeling the same elation she had felt the night before.

And when her body finally began to tire, she found that she did not want to leave his company yet. There were many questions she wanted to ask this android. From what she had heard of his attempts to make himself more human, it seemed that they had much in common.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

They were talking about Q again. It was better than talking about Seven-- anything was better than talking about Seven, about how happy she'd looked, on the terrace, how she'd seemed to glow. Janeway had not intended to still be talking at all at this point in the evening, but when they'd returned to her quarters Picard had surprised her by asking about Seven. She'd deftly changed the subject to the Borg in general, and then, skirting the subject of Wolf 359, to Picard's first encounter with the Borg. And thus back to Q.

"It seems like more than mere coincidence that the two of us-- the two starship captains in whom Q has shown the greatest interest over the years-- should come back into contact just after Q has paid visits to each of us," Jean-Luc was saying.

Janeway tried to change the subject again. "Coincidence or not, I can't say I'm sorry to see you again." She leaned over to take the empty teacup from Jean-Luc, brushing her hands against his.

Jean-Luc smiled and took her hand, began caressing it, but he wasn't quite ready to drop the subject. "Did Q say anything to you that indicated he might be responsible for this incident? For bringing me here?"

There was a flash of light. "It's always about you, isn't it, Johnny?"

"Q!" Jean-Luc dropped her hand instantly. "Did you do this, Q?"

"As strange as it may seem, Mon Capitaine, I did not. Your arrival here was entirely fortuitous." The entity did not so much sit down as drape himself over the armchair.

Picard persisted. "But, you did know that this would happen."

"Of course I knew. What do you think omniscient means?" A teacup appeared in Q's hand. "Don't tell me you're upset I didn't warn you, Jean-Luc. Every time I've offered you knowledge of the future, you've turned me down with a lot of blather about the sanctity of the timeline." Q snapped his fingers, and a fresh pot of tea materialized on the table.

Picard leaned forward, his attention focused on the entity. "Then, why are you here, Q?"

"Where else should I be? I so seldom have the opportunity to see my two favorite captains at the same time. I'd think you'd be happy to see me again, Johnny."

"Q, this is not the best time for a-- social call," Janeway said. "You're interrupting a private conversation." :::Though you'd never know from looking at Jean-Luc.:::

"Oh, yes, that immensely interesting conversation about the Borg." Q rolled his eyes. "You may have convinced Johnny you're hanging on his every word, but the only Borg that truly compels your interest is the one down the corridor, trying out Mr. Data's multiple techniques." Janeway flinched.

"It's uncommon to see Data--" Picard searched for words-- "make a connection with another person so quickly." He sounded somewhat tentative, as though trying to determine just how many scripts were being played out.

"Oh, he and darling Annika are finding they have a great deal in common. Both so superior to the pathetic humans around them, both struggling to drag themselves down just to find some companionship." Picard shared an exasperated glance with Janeway. "They'd do better to try to raise one or two of the humans up to their level instead. Don't you think so, Johnny?"

"I doubt that it's nearly as linear as you like to think, Q. Mr. Data is neither superior nor inferior to his human shipmates, merely different." Picard refilled his teacup, held the pot above Janeway's cup and lifted his eyebrows in inquiry. She shook her head no.

"Would you say that you're superior, in a general sense, to... oh, a Belzoidean flea? Or a Ceti eel?"

Picard settled back on the couch as though he planned to stay there all night. "You're changing the subject, Q. Neither of those creatures is sentient."

"Jean-Luc, I think--" Janeway began.

"Of course, I always forget that the dividing line between sentience and non-sentience is so perfectly clear-cut."

"Jean-Luc--"

"Now you're putting words in my mouth, Q. If you would allow me to finish. Neither of those creatures is sentient; however, they are both highly complex life-forms that have survived in their native environments for millions of years. In fact, the Ceti eel--"

"Jean-L--"

"--was the only multicellular creature native to Ceti Alpha V that survived that planet's orbital dislocation. I will be glad indeed if humanity proves to have the same degree of resilience and adaptability."

"So you hope to reach the level of a brain-sucking parasite someday? Finally, Jean-Luc, an assessment of human potential you and I can agree on."

"Je--"

"Q, either counter my arguments or have the grace to admit defeat, but don't twist my words."

"GENTLEMEN!" Janeway stood. "Gentlemen, I don't think this is either the time or the place for this discussion."

"Oh, I _am_ sorry, Kathy!" Q sprang to his feet and bowed. "Johnny and I are keeping you from your beauty sleep. Well, we'll go and finish our conversation elsewhere." Picard opened his mouth, but he and Q vanished before she heard what he'd been about to say.

Janeway was still looking at where they'd just been when, a moment later, Q reappeared alone. "Oh, and-- sleep well, Ma Capitaine. I'm sure you'll be up late tomorrow-- no doubt darling Annika will want to tell you all about her date with the droid. You can paint each other's toenails."

There was another flash of light, and Janeway was alone, holding a mug of warm milk. The coffee table was littered with tiny bottles of nail varnish.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Picard materialized in his quarters, the entity appearing beside him a moment later. "Q, explain."

"Well, in the first place, Jean-Luc, your analogy is completely specious: you don't see many humans turning to Ceti eels for companionship. In the second place--"

"Q. Explain what you hope to accomplish here." Picard set down the teacup he was still holding. "Somehow, I cannot believe your only motive for this visit is to discuss Ceti eels with me."

Q flung himself into a chair. "You weren't this distrustful the last time I visited you, Mon Capitaine." Jean-Luc sat down across from him and simply waited. "Oh, very well. Much as I've been enjoying our conversation, Jean-Luc, I must confess, I did have an ulterior motive in coming here."

"Why am I not surprised?" Picard took a sip of the tea. It was Earl Grey, of course. And excellent.

"I'm trying to do Kathy a favor."

"Really."

"Well, since you were so ungrateful the last time I did something nice for you, I thought she might prove more appreciative."

"Dare I even ask what favor you have decided to bestow on Captain Janeway? Obviously, it doesn't involve sending her and her crew home."

"No, no, that would be too obvious, Jean-Luc." Picard rolled his eyes. "No, I want to do something that will _really_ make her happy. I'm going to help her get together with darling Annika."

After what Picard realized had been a rather long silence, he decided to begin with the least problematic aspect of Q's statement. "By sending her dancing with Commander Data?"

"Seven's idea. I was rather pleased with it. Kathy's back in her quarters stewing in jealousy. She's almost persuaded herself to go talk to Annika right now."

"Q. Even accepting, for argument's sake, that you have undertaken this-- matchmaking endeavor-- out of sheer altruism..." Picard trailed off, shaking his head in disbelief. "A starship captain and a disassimilated Borg under her command? Q, you could hardly have chosen a more inappropriate couple."

"'Inappropriate'?" Q sprang to his feet, giving him an exasperated look. "I thought the French were supposed to be romantic." He began to pace the length of the small room. "So which bothers you more, Picard? The starship captain? Or the disassimilated Borg? Because need I remind you, you're a disassimilated Borg yourself."

Picard's voice was very quiet. "I'm not likely to forget that, Q."

The entity seemed to stumble for a moment. He caught himself, but the pacing slowed, became almost predatory. "And are you no longer trustworthy, Jean-Luc?" Picard didn't answer. "Are you still tainted? Unclean?"

"Stop it, Q. That's not the point." Picard slammed down the teacup and stood. "I was recovered after a very short time. This woman grew up in a Borg collective. There is a difference."

Q had come so close that Picard had to bend his neck to look in his eyes. "She's not trying to be a starship captain, Jean-Luc. Just to love one. If being a former Borg drone makes her unfit for that, then they should never have given you back your command after Wolf 359." Picard felt himself flinch, hated himself for it. Forced himself not to drop his eyes. But Q's face showed none of the menace of his looming posture, and when he spoke again his voice was gentle. "Jean-Luc. I don't know if you'll even accept my apology after all these years, but I'm offering it." He lifted a hand almost to Picard's shoulder, but dropped it again without touching him. "Do you think you'll ever forgive me?"

Picard backed away a step. "Q, your actions probably saved humanity. Without advance warning, we would never have survived the Borg's onslaught."

"That wasn't what I asked."

"No, it wasn't." Now it was Picard's turn to pace; Q did not follow. "Q, as strange as it may seem, I think I forgave you long ago. You have changed since then. We both have." And though Picard did not mention it, he knew that they were each responsible for much of the other's growth in that time. And knew that Q knew he knew.

"So, why shouldn't Kathy and darling Annika have a little happiness together?" Q's light tone sounded forced. "The little Borg's devoted to her captain. She'd die for her, in a moment, Borg or no."

Picard sighed. "Even if that is so, Q, it is still a highly inappropriate liaison. For a captain to become involved with a member of the crew--"

"Seven's not a regular member of the crew. A civilian specialist, you might call her."

"Even so, Q--"

"If not Annika, then who else, Jean-Luc? Who else is there for Kathy aboard this ship?" Picard thought about that. The Starfleet crew would be just as unsuitable, the Maquis crew more so, and though he suspected that most of the _Voyager_ crew had little regard left for such concerns, after nearly seven years-- still, a captain could allow her crew lapses she could never commit herself.

If the Iconian door brought them home, Janeway's options would be greatly expanded, of course. And if it didn't... well, of course rank and position weren't an issue between two starship captains...

Q came up behind him and spoke into his ear. "It's a long way to the Alpha Quadrant, Johnny. Suppose that Iconian door won't open. Would you have poor Kathy spend the next sixty years celibate? I'm assuming you're not just hoping to keep her to yourself."

"Q!" Picard stepped away, aware he was letting Q's insistence on violating his personal space steer him around the cramped quarters. "My... involvement... with Kathryn Janeway is not the issue." And sixty years of involvement with Kathryn Janeway was not a terribly pleasant idea. He liked Kathryn, certainly. He'd enjoyed the previous night, no question of that. But she was not someone he'd ever imagined growing old with.

"Oh? It seems that by your criteria, starship captains don't have many suitable partners, aside from each other."

"Q, Kathryn's choices are her own." He turned, standing his ground as Q came one step too close. "I believe that a romantic relationship between her and Seven of Nine would be risky, for several reasons. But, that risk is theirs to take. It is not my concern." He stood there long enough to give his retreat some dignity, then returned to his chair. "Nor, I might add, is it yours."

"Of course it is. Everything's your concern, when you're omnipotent."

"Suit yourself, Q. But whatever scheme this is part of, count me out of it." Picard picked up a padd and called up the engineering team's report on the Iconian door.

"'Scheme,' Jean-Luc? Since when is trying to bring happiness to my friends a scheme?" Picard pointedly kept his eyes on the padd. Q leaned over the back of his chair. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous of Seven."

"Think what you like, Q." He scrolled through the report, trying to ignore the entity's presence, and after a few moments Q settled into the other chair, and conjured up a book in a flash of light. Minutes passed in silence before Picard finally raised his eyes from the padd.

Q looked up from the book and caught his eyes before he could look away again. "Jean-Luc?"

"Q."

There was an awkward silence. Picard had just begun to open his mouth when Q said "And secondly, Jean-Luc, the Ceti eel survived on the human survivors' waste and carrion, so it's hardly the best example of superior resilience."

The argument continued long into the night. When it was over, and Picard was alone, he wondered what he would have said if Q hadn't spoken just then. He had no idea what he'd been about to say.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Even while arguing sentience and superiority with Picard, Q had been sparing a small corner of his mind to listen to other thoughts and words. Down the hall to the left, Seven and Data were seated on the couch in the android's quarters, in the middle of a wide-ranging discussion of human foibles. The combs holding up Seven's elaborate coiffure had grown uncomfortable, and she had removed them; she ran her fingers through her loose hair.

The entity had not been entirely truthful with Janeway. Seven had not sampled any of Data's multiple techniques, except as they involved dancing and conversation. Not that the thought hadn't crossed her mind. Seven had liked Data from the start. Data was honest. He had, perhaps, more skill than she did in telling social lies, but even less liking for it. It was refreshing to speak with someone who would tell her exactly what he thought, and not disrespect her for doing the same. But the openness of their conversation only increased Seven's distaste for the deception she was practicing on Data. To make use of his willing participation in the ruse would be acceptable, but to involve him in the unwitting deception of her captain and his, she decided, was not.

Q sensed her resolve and began listening with greater interest as she said, "Mr. Data, I have found our interaction to be extremely rewarding. However, I had an additional purpose in requesting your company this evening." She shook her hair back from her face. "I have been attempting to induce a feeling of jealousy in Captain Janeway."

The android quickly sorted through the possible interpretations of her statement-- lighting first, Q noted, on the correct one. Data's intuitions for human behavior were evidently improving. "I see. I was not aware that your relationship with the captain was of an intimate nature."

"It is not. I wish that it were. Unfortunately, her continued interest in Captain Picard suggests that this plan was unsuccessful." Seven's intuitions, the entity thought, still had considerable room for improvement.

"I am not certain that that assessment is correct," Data answered. "I observed that Captain Janeway's expression when she first noticed us in the holodeck could be interpreted as one of distress. I believe she may have turned to Captain Picard in the hopes of alleviating that distress."

Seven took a moment to process this.

"I believe I understand. My own... distress... over the Captain's continued lack of response to my overtures has also been alleviated by your company."

"Thank you. I have found your company pleasant as well."

A mental blush from Seven at the compliment, and frantic cogitation as she tried to divine the best way to proceed. "Mr. Data. You have encountered the entity known as Q on several occasions. What do you know of his interest in Captain Picard?"

Frantic cogitation from the android, as Seven's words sparked an entirely new idea. "To what sort of 'interest' do you refer?'

"Q has agreed to aid me in my pursuit of Captain Janeway. This will be of benefit to the captain and myself. It will also benefit Q, by allowing him to observe the success of various romantic stratagems which he may then employ in his pursuit of Captain Picard."

Even without his emotion chip, Data would probably have experienced something like surprise. With the chip engaged, Data was mentally reeling as fourteen years' worth of encounters with the entity were reinterpreted. And to the android's even greater surprise-- and the entity's near shock-- Data found that he approved. "In what way may I be of assistance with your plan?"

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Kathryn Janeway was unaware of the plots being hatched to ensure her happiness, and lay awake most of the night, troubled by lurid thoughts of Seven and Data trying out the entire Kama Sutra. She groaned, rubbing her eyes as though she could erase the unwanted mental images. :::Look on the bright side, Kathryn. Seven wasn't coerced, or probably even pursued. This was her choice. Obviously, I haven't been giving her enough credit for being able to make her own decisions. Seven chose him, and she could choose me.::: She rearranged her pillows again, unaware of the entity listening to her thoughts. :::I have to let her know how I feel. It's her choice, I have to let her know it's her choice, but I have to at least tell her. In the morning. First thing.:::

And when morning came, she stepped out of her cabin flushed with determination. And rounded the corner of the corridor to see Seven stepping out of Data's cabin. Wearing the blue dress, but with her hair down. And, though she must have been long overdue for regeneration, seeming more to float than to walk. She looked blissful. As though she had a brilliant and wonderful future spread out ahead of her. "Thank you, Data," she said-- words Seven seldom remembered to use. Janeway had never heard her say them as if she meant them before.

She must have made some noise, because they both turned and saw her. Data's face was impassive, but Seven blushed and looked away. "Good morning Seven, Commander," she said. And smiled. And walked on.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Picard was the first to arrive in the briefing room. He made a half-hearted attempt to read through some of Torres and Data's results on his padd, but his mind was elsewhere.

Why was Q interested in furthering Janeway's relationship with Seven of Nine? The entity would admit to no motive other than simple friendship, though Picard found this hard to believe. :::But then, there's no other motive in evidence for his recent visits to me, either. And I was glad enough to accept that explanation the last time he appeared in my ready room, to take advantage of the friendship he offered. Either Q can feel friendship for a mortal-- and the feeling is mutual-- or else I've bared my soul to a master manipulator with some unknown and doubtless unsavory purpose...:::

No, that was unfair. He had no reason, other than habitual suspicion, to accuse Q of any unsavory motives. The doors hissed and the first officer and the pilot came in and sat down; Picard exchanged terse greetings with them and pretended to read the padd, ignoring their banter.

Was it so hard to accept that he'd forged a friendship with Q? They'd known each other for fourteen years. Q knew him better than his own brother had. He had told Q he forgave him; more than that, he realized he'd come to trust the entity-- against his better judgement, but still the trust was there, and Q had not failed it since it had been given, not with the time anomaly, not with the confidences Picard had shared in the past weeks.

The briefing room had begun to fill; Picard exchanged a nod with Data, deep in discussion with the Vulcan security officer. Torres and the young ensign from Ops entered, followed by Kathryn, who went immediately to the replicator for coffee.

How did Kathryn fit into this? Q's behavior to the other captain last night had been-- well, typical for Q. Brash and insulting, for the most part, when he'd even acknowledged her existence. If Q called Janeway a friend, then it was a strikingly different kind of friendship than he had with Picard.

A thought struck him, then, and he only belatedly noticed that _Voyager_'s senior staff had taken their seats and put away the padd.

"We think we know why the captain and Commander Data are here." Lieutenant Torres called up a diagram on the briefing room screen. Janeway nodded immediately, but the engineer continued her explanation. Picard was relieved he hadn't had to ask her to; it was incomprehensible to him. "Basically, Captain, there's a sort of security feature on the Ras Algethi door; the Iconians must have activated it when they abandoned the planet."

"The door was set not to permit traffic, in either direction, of persons whose molecular signatures were not in the system's memory," Data said.

"And since Mr. Data and I have traveled through an Iconian door before--"

"It looks like your signatures must have been added to the system then," Torres confirmed. "The door you passed through on Iconia must not have had this security lockout engaged."

Kathryn asked the question everyone was thinking. "Will we able to use this door to return to the Alpha Quadrant?"

"Captain Picard and Commander Data should be able to return to Ras Algethi Four. But no one else can go through while the lockout is engaged, and we can't override it from this side."

Data brought up another screen of incomprehensible diagrams. "The Ras Algethi door is itself non-functional. However, the fact that the lockout remains in effect suggests that some of its control mechanism may remain operational. With the resources of the _Enterprise_ at our disposal, it may be possible to bring these control systems on line and disengage the lockout, permitting unimpeded travel between the two doors."

Kathryn took a long drink of coffee. "If that doesn't work, what are our other options? Can we select another destination?"

Torres frowned. "We're not sure. We think we understand the selection controls for travel between door sites. But setting a destination somewhere outside the system is a lot trickier."

"But is it possible?"

"I can't promise anything, Captain. We'll keep working on it."

The briefing continued, and Picard answered questions and asked them, about Iconia and subspace vector inversions, trying to push aside all other thoughts for the moment; but when the meeting broke up and the room emptied, he stayed behind for a moment, trying to come to terms with an idea even more shocking than the thought that he and Q had become friends.

Perhaps Q wanted them to be more than friends.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

The two captains were sitting together. Seven met Captain Picard's eyes, watched as Captain Janeway turned and saw her. The captain stiffened, then turned away and prodded at something at her plate with more force than was probably necessary.

Seven took a plate of multicolored stew from Neelix and sat down where she could watch the two captains. There was no doubt that Janeway had been jealous that morning. In that regard, the plan had been successful. In terms of its larger object, however, it seemed to have failed.

If it had not been for Picard, Seven would have been unconcerned. She could try another strategy. And if it failed, another, and another. There was time. But now, if the Iconian door sent them to the Alpha Quadrant, everything would change. And if it did not, Picard and Data might well be stranded here with them. Could she compete with the other captain for Janeway's affection?

Watching them together, Seven thought that something had changed. Picard maintained a greater physical distance from Janeway than he had before; he broke off eye contact with her an average of .6 seconds earlier. Seven did not know what to make of this difference, but it made her hopeful.

The two captains finished their meal and returned their dishes to the kitchen. Picard left the mess; Janeway lingered for a moment. She came and stood beside Seven's table.

"Seven. I hope I didn't embarrass you this morning."

"You did not."

"I'm glad." She looked away, focused on a point behind Seven's left shoulder. "I just wanted to say that I hope-- I hope things work out for you." She squeezed Seven's shoulder.

As she had been meant to, she had obviously misinterpreted Seven's interaction with Data. Seven thought that her best course might now be to correct that misapprehension. But before she had a chance to speak, Janeway had gone.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

How had he not seen it before? Just the night before, he'd told Kathryn "In recent years, he's seemed to show a special interest in me in particular." Had he really never questioned the nature of that interest?

And for that matter, what made him think that interest was in any way recent? He remembered telling Q-- in only their third encounter!-- "To learn about you is frankly provocative." How could he have perceived Q's interest well enough to make so... _Freudian_ a statement without the thought ever impinging on his consciousness?

But now that it had, the thought would not be banished. Picard stalked _Voyager_'s corridors all morning-- he wanted solitude, and though he knew that if Q wanted to talk to him, his location was unimportant, the entity had appeared in his private space too often for him to consider retreating to his quarters. So he prowled through the ship, pretending great interest in everything, seeing nothing. Replaying in his mind all the dealings he had ever had with Q.

:::My god. I've been flirting with him for fourteen years. It must have been patently obvious to anyone looking at us. Why couldn't I see it? Why couldn't I admit it to myself?::: Picard stopped short in the middle of a corridor. :::Why do I fear this so much I dare not even acknowledge it?:::

It wasn't merely Q's power, nor the temptations that power represented. He had known Q long enough to know that if Q was willing to use his power against him, he would have done so long before. And Starfleet would never have given him a command if he was the sort to abuse power, his own or another's. Q's powers warranted caution, but not this sort of blind denial.

And he had forgiven Q for his introduction to the Borg. His assimilation had been unforeseen-- Q was omniscient enough to be able to tell, for example, that the Iconian door's security lockout would permit only Picard and Data to pass through, and intelligent enough to deduce the likelihood of that occurrence from his observation of events on both worlds, but he had no true prescience; his knowledge of the future encompassed millions of possible timelines, but he no more knew which would come to pass than Picard did. And Q had never deliberately caused him lasting harm. Temporary humiliation, yes; but that, Picard mused, was something his ego was certainly strong enough to withstand.

No, Picard feared neither Q's motives nor his abilities. It wasn't, he realized, Q he feared at all.

It frightened him that he had given the capricious entity his trust-- not because he feared Q would break that trust, but because he _wanted_ to trust Q, and that wanting did not sit well with the independence that was so integral to his self-image. It frightened him that the entity knew him better than any other creature, not because he resented the way Q could provoke him or manipulate him-- he'd come to realize he had very nearly as much influence over Q as Q had over him-- but because he _wanted_ to be known, mind and body and soul, and that wanting could not be easily reconciled with the private and distant man he had been for most of his adult life-- ever since he had entered the command track.

All the traits that made him a captain-- self-control, self- reliance, self-containment, self-abnegation-- were all threatened by any close intimacy. He had known that for decades. It had poisoned more than one relationship. Even with lovers he cared for deeply, there had always been a level of control he would not relinquish, a degree of privacy he would not breach.

That would not possible with Q. And that was what made Q so compelling. Picard knew that at some level, he deeply wanted to shed that control, let someone within those boundaries. He had tried with others, and failed. With Q, there could be no failure. The thought made him shudder.

He joined Kathryn in the mess hall for lunch. She asked him about Data, and Picard was glad to talk about him; Data was a neutral subject. Kathryn, he supposed, was concerned about Seven of Nine; Picard did his best to reassure her. "I've never known him to be callous or cruel. I'm certain Mr. Data has the best of intentions." An adage about the pavement of the road to hell did pass through his mind, but he didn't say it aloud.

Q's interest in Kathryn's love life made sense now; it was yet another of Q's tests-- observe the trials of a captain in love, observe the other captain's reactions to those trials. Well, Picard thought, he had a few tests of his own. He would do his best to further Kathryn's romance with the Borg; from the way she'd looked at Seven when she entered the mess hall, it was clear that she felt strongly for her. And he, for his part, would observe Q. If the entity could help Janeway reconcile loving Seven with the need to maintain her captainly authority-- if he could at least understand and respect the conflict, even if he could not solve it-- then, perhaps...

He couldn't quite finish the thought. But Q, listening, heard the impulse behind it nonetheless. In the entity's joy he ignited several novae in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud. He would pass any test Picard set him, with flying colors.

This would be easy.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

"Since your stratagems have not produced the desired result, it might be best to try a more direct approach." It was well into beta shift, and Torres and her crew had retired after a twelve-hour day. Data and Seven had been working on the Iconian destination setting systems for another two hours, and in that time they'd dissected Janeway's every word and action of the past three days.

"I had come to the same conclusion," Seven said. "If you no longer require my assistance, I shall speak with Captain Janeway now."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Janeway was waiting for Jean-Luc. He'd asked to speak with her that evening-- in a reserved way that told her he intended no more than speech. Whatever had passed between Picard and Q last night, it had totally changed Picard's demeanor towards her. There was no spark of interest left. Undoubtedly that was what he was coming to tell her about. Kathryn, Q and I have become lovers...

What would happen if they had? She'd told Q they would make it home without his interference. She'd meant it. But surely, Q would not let his lover be stranded here with them. And Jean-Luc, she knew, would demand that he share their fate-- either they would all go home, or none would. _Home_.

Unless, of course, Jean-Luc went off with his immortal lover to the Continuum, or someplace even farther and stranger. Suppose Q were to take Jean-Luc away, and leave the rest of them alone... leave Data here, with Seven...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a flash of light. Q lay stretched out on the couch, his feet in Janeway's lap. "Q! What do you want now?"

"Oh, just to chat. Isn't this nice and cozy?"

Janeway picked up his feet and dropped them on the floor. "Q, whatever you want to chat about, I'm not interested. You've caused enough trouble here already."

The entity sat up. "Actually, Kathy, that's just why I came here tonight. Believe it or not, I was going to offer you an apology for a few things I've done lately." There was a theatrical look of contrition on his face.

Janeway narrowed her eyes. "An apology for what?"

He leaned back, touching his fingertips together. "Well, first of all, I suppose I should confess that it was my idea for Data and darling Annika to get together." His tone was less that of an apology than of a gloat.

She nodded slowly. "So it was you, after all. Jean-Luc suspected as much."

Q waved a hand impatiently. "No, no, no! I had nothing to do with bringing them here. But once they got here-- well, you of all people must know that Seven would never have approached Data without some... prompting."

Janeway remembered Q's mocking request for romantic advice-- what might the entity have done, with the 'prompting' he could bring to bear, when that joke didn't prove entertaining enough? "Then you've been-- directing her behavior? Or-- "

"No, of course not! Just--"

"--influencing her emotions directly?

"--encouraging her. Kathy, _strange_ as it may seem, I was trying to do you a favor."

Janeway's face was very still. "A favor, Q? By manipulating a member of my crew? An emotionally vulnerable and confused young woman?"

"That young woman--" Q sprang to his feet-- "was quite eager to accept my offer of help, Ma Capitaine; help that I had intended to hold out to you, before you started making these unfounded accusations." Q folded his arms across his chest and glared down at her. "You're just as ungrateful as the last starship captain I tried to give a gift to. But as a favor to him, I won't withdraw my favor to you. Seven of Nine is in love with you, Kathryn. Make of that what you will."

Q vanished in a rather brighter flash than usual. A favor to me, Kathryn thought. A consolation prize. He has Jean-Luc, he might as well give poor little Kathy someone too. And thanks to his trial run with Data he knows he can do it, too. He can make her feel anything he chooses.

Q, meanwhile, had drifted off into an uninhabited star system and was blowing things up, incensed by Janeway's accusations. For a few minutes of objective time, Q's attention, focused nearly equally on his anger and, as always, on Picard, drifted from Janeway's quarters, and the woman standing outside her door.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Six point eight seconds after the chime sounded, Janeway's voice finally replied. "Come."

Seven entered the captain's quarters. "Captain Janeway, I must speak with you."

Janeway looked at her with an expression that Seven couldn't quite read. Sorrow seemed to be its main component. "Seven. Seven, I know what you're going to say, but you don't really mean it."

The captain had never before claimed to be prescient or empathic. Perhaps this was an example of humor, though it did not seem funny to her. "What do you believe I am going to say?"

Janeway took a deep breath. "You're going to tell me you're in love with me." Seven reeled, though her face did not betray her shock. Janeway knew that her desires were reciprocated? Then why--? But the Captain shook her head and continued. "Seven, this may seem hard to accept, but these aren't really your emotions."

Seven struggled to make sense of this. "Then, whose are they?"

"They're Q's. Seven, the emotions you're feeling now were planted in your mind by Q."

"That is not so."

"I know it doesn't feel that way to you now, but it's true." She put an arm around the Borg's shoulders and led her to the couch. "Think back, Seven. Do you remember how this feeling started?"

"That is difficult. It does not seem to have had any discrete beginning point. Rather, it is something I became conscious of gradually. In fact, I am not certain that there was ever a time I did not have these feelings, at least to a certain extent."

"Damn, he's thorough," Janeway said, quietly enough that Seven assumed she was talking to herself. Then, louder, she said, "Seven, I hope that Q can be persuaded to undo his meddling. But we will get through this. I'm your friend. That's one thing that's not going to change."

Seven was certain the captain had to be in error. There was no other explanation. "What makes you believe Q is responsible for how I feel?"

"He told me. Just now." Janeway took Seven's Borg hand in her small, organic ones and pressed it. "I'm so sorry, Seven, that you have to deal with this sort of... emotional manipulation. But I am here for you. Don't think for a moment that anything Q could do would make me care about you less."

Seven wanted nothing more than to let Janeway stroke her hand. But it only increased her confusion, and she pulled away. "I need to be alone."

"I understand," Janeway said, and Seven went to the door. And nearly collided with Captain Picard.

Picard acknowledged her with a nod, but spoke to Janeway. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had company. We can talk later." Janeway stood, as though to stop his departure, but too late; the door shut again behind him.

Seven looked at Janeway; for the first time in days, the other woman met her eyes easily and did not look away. But she said nothing, and after a few seconds Seven turned and left her.

Q had told her that he sensed her feelings for the captain, and offered his help in pursuing her. But he had told Janeway that he had caused those feelings himself.

Which of them had Q lied to?

Or-- she remembered Janeway's abrupt movement when Picard had left, Picard's evident surprise at seeing her in the captain's quarters... could it be _Janeway_ who was lying?

Q had not been listening to this conversation, and remained unaware of the aspersions being cast at him. But the part of his mind that was always on Picard had caught the captain's pleased thought, :::They're finally talking to each other.:::

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Data frowned; the expression was one that he thought he'd finally mastered, and he liked using it whenever he could, but these circumstances seemed to warrant it more than most. "That does not seem consistent with Q's previous behavior," he said. "To my knowledge, he has never tampered with the memories or the emotions of any being aboard the _Enterprise_. I find it highly unlikely that your feelings for Captain Janeway were caused by Q."

This did not seem to cheer Seven. "But why would the captain lie to me? Unless it is because she has decided she would rather have Picard, and wants to persuade me out of my feelings for her."

Data frowned again. He really was becoming quite adept at it. "It is also possible that Q lied to Captain Janeway for some reason."

"Why would he tell her I have no feelings for her? I cannot see how this deception could further his study of human courtship behaviors."

The laboratory doors opened and Picard walked in. "Mr. Data, Seven of Nine, am I interrupting?"

Data said, "No, Captain," but Seven of Nine spoke over him: "Captain Picard, are you currently in an intimate relationship with Q?"

Picard blinked, but showed no other outward sign of surprise. "No, I'm not."

Seven drew herself up very straight and rigid. "And are you planning to continue your intimacy with Captain Janeway?"

Data could not remember ever seeing his reserved captain respond so calmly to such inquiries into his personal life. "No, I am not." He pulled out a chair and sat down. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything a few minutes ago; it looked as though you and Captain Janeway were discussing something important."

"We were," the ex-Borg said. "Captain Janeway claims that Q told her that he has been manipulating my feelings for her."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

"I did _what_?" Q had heard Picard's rather peremptory mental summons and had gone to him immediately, to find an angry captain and a bewildered Borg waiting for him. The story they'd told him had surprised him greatly. "I should never have taken my eyes off her. I let her out of my sight for one moment and she spins a tale like that. The _gall_ of the woman!" He paced back to Picard's chair. "Surely you don't believe I'd do a thing like that, Jean-Luc!" Two more steps, swivel. "I mean, if I were willing to tamper with minds that way, you would have been filled with an insatiable longing for me back in Shuttlecraft Six."

Picard was not entirely sure that he hadn't; certainly, he'd felt a fascination with the entity since his first appearance, though when that fascination first gave rise to desire-- or something more-- he could not say. Station Earhart, perhaps?

Data's voice startled Picard out of his reverie. "That is precisely why Captain Janeway's claim is so difficult to believe," he said gravely.

"Data. You _knew_? About Q's--" Picard searched for a word.

"Devotion? Passion?" Q dropped to a knee behind Picard's chair and whispered in his ear. "Lust?"

Now that he could admit what he was feeling, his body's response to the entity's breath in his ear was surprising, but Picard continued calmly. "--regard for me?"

"Not until Seven of Nine told me of her bargain with Q. Though in retrospect, sir, it explains a great deal."

"Bargain?" The captain looked from Seven to the entity. "Q, perhaps you should explain from the beginning."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

:::What if Q won't undo his meddling?::: Janeway paced her quarters fretfully. :::What if she's stuck with these feelings? Wouldn't it be cruel to spurn her? Unreturned love would hurt her just as much, even if it was caused by Q...::: She stopped, aghast. The thought was abhorrent. It was exploitative. And yet... if Seven would feel that way from now on...

But from now until when? Surely, even Q-induced emotions would fade eventually. How strongly did Seven feel what she felt? No easy answer to that question, unless...

Unless Data might have something to say. He might be able to tell her if Seven's behavior with him had shown any signs of Q's influence. It wouldn't be a pleasant discussion, but at least it was something...

"Computer, location of Commander Data."

"Commander Data is in Science Lab Two."

She hadn't asked the computer whether anyone was with him. And so she was surprised to open the door and find Picard, Seven, and Q with the android. All of them, even Data, looking happier than they had any right to.

"Kathryn," Jean-Luc said, standing up to greet her. "It seems that there's been some misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding?"

Q came forward, standing just too close for comfort. "Kathy, somehow you seem to have gotten the idea that I've been tampering with little Annika's emotions. I assure, _nothing_ could be further from the truth."

"I'm sorry, Q," Janeway said, "but I'm afraid I'm not inclined to simply take your word for it." Q threw up his hands in dismay. Picard gave him a look of affectionate exasperation. Of course, Picard would take his side.

Seven stood up. "Captain." She took both of Janeway's hands in hers. "If Q were willing to exercise that sort of manipulation, would he not alter your thoughts as well to remove your memory of his admission?"

She had no answer for that. And Seven's nearness was making rational thought rather difficult. "Then, what exactly has been going on?"

And Seven smiled, a genuine smile such as Janeway had never seen her wear. "It is... a long story. And I do not believe this is the most suitable location for a full explanation."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Seven and Janeway left the lab, hand in hand. Q leaned over Picard's shoulder. "Still convinced it's a bad idea, Johnny? For a starship captain to take up with an ex-Borg"

"Oh, absolutely, Q." The captain's delivery, Data decided, could best be described as 'deadpan.' "Almost as bad an idea as to take up with a self-centered, unpredictable, nearly omnipotent being."

The entity smiled broadly. "I _knew_ you'd see it my way eventually!" He grabbed the captain's shoulders as if to embrace him.

Picard stopped him with a hand on the entity's chest. "Q, as Seven said, this is not the most suitable location..."

Q seemed to remember Data's presence then. "Not in front of the androids, Johnny?" He snapped his fingers, and he and the captain vanished.

Data was left alone in the lab. "Intriguing," he muttered, and got back to work. Only this time, he was practicing his smile.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

They materialized in Picard's quarters, Q's hands still on Picard's shoulders. He looked down into Picard's face for the space of several breaths. "Well, Mon Capitaine?" he said. "Do I pass all your tests?"

"Thus far, Q, your performance has been rather less than I might expect of someone of your talents," Picard said sternly. He ran his hand over the red and black of the entity's uniform. "And considering how frequently you have tested me, I believe I would be quite within my rights in putting you through any number of other ordeals." He leaned in closer. "However..." he carded one hand through Q's hair. "I think we've wasted enough time already."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Somewhat later, Seven and Janeway looked up to see a kaleidoscopic display of colored lights, whirling through the space outside the captain's windows. "Remarkable," said Seven. "I have seen nothing like it before."

Neither had Janeway, though she had a fair idea who was probably responsible. "It's lovely," she said, and then reached out to touch Seven's hair. "But not nearly as lovely as you."

The cosmic fireworks continued though most of the night, but neither of them paid much attention.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

"All right," Torres said. "We should be ready to activate the door in a few seconds." The sun had set on the unnamed planet, and the away team had returned to the Iconian base. Picard and Data stood next to the empty doorway, Data carrying a tricorder with the specs on the changes to be made in the Ras Algethi Four controls to override the security lockout.

"Excellent, B'Elanna," came Janeway's voice over the comm. "Activate at your discretion." Janeway had looked somewhat exhausted at the morning briefing, but very happy. Her mood had mirrored Picard's exactly.

Torres made a final pass with the tricorder to confirm that the equipment was all functional. "Activating." She pressed a sequence of ideograms on the panel, and the door shimmered into existence. The Ras Algethi control room was clearly visible, though there was a haze of dust in the air that Picard could not account for. "Whenever you're ready, Captain."

"Mr. Data, shall we?" They stepped through.

The reason for the dust was immediately obvious; the ground was shaking and groaning. And the sky, when he looked up, was full of bright bolts of energy. Data cocked his head to listen to their whine. "Cardassian, sir."

Picard touched his commbadge. "Picard to _Enterprise_."

He heard Riker's voice shouting "Get them out of there," and the world dissolved into shimmer, and then into the transporter room of the _Enterprise_. Picard got to the bridge just in time to see a flash of light bloom on the planet's surface under the departing Cardassian ship's phasers. "Destroyed," the ensign at Tactical said.

Picard took the center seat from Will. "Report."

"Apparently, the Cardassians realized they wouldn't be able to adequately defend this planet if they took it, sir." Riker sighed. "And so..."

"And so, they ensure that if they can't control the Iconian ruins, no one will. Quintessentially Cardassian thinking."

Data had taken over Ops. "Mr. Data, does any of the door mechanism appear to be salvageable?"

"Negative, sir."

"So much for Plan A," Picard said. Riker looked at him quizzically. Picard laughed. "It's a long story, Number One."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

Picard found Q waiting for him in his quarters, sprawled out on a bed that seemed somewhat larger than when he had last seen it. "Hello, Q."

"Well, that's not quite the welcome I was hoping for," the entity pouted.

Picard stood over the bed for a moment, looking at him, and then leaned down to kiss him, very thoroughly. "Is that more like it?"

"Mmm, very much so." Q reached up to pull the human down beside him. "So you haven't changed your mind?" He traced the line of Picard's cheekbone.

"No, and I'm not going to, Q." Picard turned his head to kiss the tips of Q's fingers.

"Will you tell your crew about us?"

"Eventually." He kissed Q's neck. "I'd rather keep them guessing for a while first, though, if you don't mind."

"Jean-Luc, I'm astounded! You're learning to be devious. I'm so proud of you." He snapped his fingers, and their clothes vanished.

"Q, I have a request to make of you."

Q grinned. "Anything, Johnny. Is it kinky?" His eyes lit up.

"Not that sort of request, Q." Ignoring the entity's sulk, he went on. "Could you... channel your powers elsewhere, for a time? I don't really want to treat my crew to the sort of fireworks display you showed _Voyager_ last night."

"Whyever not?" Picard looked at him sternly. "Oh, very well." Q snapped his fingers. "There. I've channeled everything a few light years away, to an uninhabited planet of Theta Ophiuchi. It shouldn't bother anyone."

Picard smiled. "Good." He pressed his body close to Q's and felt the entity writhe against him. "Because last night's fireworks are tame compared to what we're going to set off tonight."

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-

 

When Torres saw the incoming lances of phaser fire, she immediately shut down the door. An attempt was made to reopen it several hours later, after she estimated the barrage would have ceased, but it was unsuccessful. Janeway ordered the backup plan put into effect and retired to her quarters.

Several hours after that, Seven was lying in Janeway's bed, looking at her foot. "I do not understand the purpose of this."

"The purpose," Janeway said, dabbing another color of lacquer on the next toe, "is so when we're both on the bridge, or in the mess, or in Astrometrics, and on our best professional behavior, you can look at your toes and know that there's something there that no one else knows about, except me. And vice versa, of course."

"But it is unnecessary," Seven said. "Barring the doctor, no one but you aboard this ship has seen these." She gestured at the implants against her ribs. "And who but me has seen the mole on your--"

"All right, it's unnecessary." Janeway smiled. "Do you object?"

"No." Seven picked up a bottle of blue lacquer. "My turn."

The comm chirped. "Torres to Janeway. We're ready to try another destination."

"On my way." Janeway capped the bottle and smiled at Seven. "Would you like to come planetside for the test?" Seven was already getting dressed.

They beamed down with Chakotay. Torres and her team had the barely repressed excitement that Janeway had learned to associate with success. "We've locked the selectors on a target destination, Captain. It's an uninhabited planet of Theta Ophiuchi."

"Not far from Ras Algethi," Chakotay said. "With luck, the _Enterprise_ should still be in the vicinity."

"Whenever you're ready, B'Elanna," Janeway said. The engineers made a few last-minute adjustments. Joe Carey stationed himself by the doorway with a tricorder. Torres pressed a series of ideograms. The door opened.

There was a vision of a whirling kaleidoscope of colors. "Power levels off the scale coming through!" Carey shouted.

Torres was pressing controls. "It won't shut down, I think something's fused!" There was a rising hum from the console, and then tongues of blue energy licked across its surface. With a loud snap and a burning smell, the console went dark and the door vanished.

"Dead," said Torres. "That energy discharge through the door must have overloaded it. It's completely fused." She looked up, grimly. "Captain, this isn't reparable."

They returned to the ship in silence. In the transporter room, Chakotay turned to Janeway. "Did that energy pattern look familiar to you?"

Seven stood in the doorway with one leg slightly forward, her toes pointed. She swiveled the foot on her big toe.

"Not in the slightest, Commander," Janeway said, and followed Seven out the door.

 

-~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~&amp;@&amp;~*+*~-


End file.
